If in the previous article I spoke about why men ejaculate, let’s see now why fast ejaculation does not really serve you, and how it affects your life.
1. Short, unsatisfying intercourse
The average time it takes a western man to ejaculate from the moment of penetration is 5 minutes. That does not really allow for pleasurable, connected, and orgasmic sex. In all fairness, in 5-10 minutes, neither you, nor your partner can really have full body-orgasms or multiple orgasms. I find this such a pity, because both men and women can feel much more pleasure than they usually feel when they make love. There is no limit when it comes to pleasure, and the more you can enjoy it, the happier you will be.
2. Inability to satisfy your partner
How often have you heard women complaining that their partners last too long? Most women need 20-30 minutes of penetrative sex to reach a powerful orgasm (e.g. a cervical, G-spot or full-body orgasm). If you ejaculate too fast, you deny your partner the pleasure she deserves. Are there other ways to satisfy a woman? Of course: you can use your fingers, your tongue, various sex toys. However, the problem is that most men lose the desire for their partner once they ejaculate, and this makes them stop caring whether she has orgasms or not. Although they may love their partner, once they have ejaculated, the sexual intercourse ends, because they no longer feel the passion they had felt before having sex.
3. Tiredness and loss of energy
It is common that men get tired and even fall asleep after sex. Why does this happen? Your sperm contains vital minerals and nutrients, and is also charged with your life-force energy, so when you ejaculate, you temporarily lose all these things. Also, your body needs about 2.5 months to produce a mature sperm cell capable of egg fertilization, and when you ejaculate, you throw out of your body around 500 million sperm cells. How much energy do you think you lose by ejaculating often, and what could create in your life by using that energy?
4. Loss of masculinity
To produce sperm, testosterone is needed, as it is a hormone that regulates the sex organs, and stimulates sperm production. Therefore, testosterone is important for sperm quality. Furthermore, testosterone regulates body metabolism, bone density, hair growth, and other organ functions. It plays an important role in sexual performance and libido. Testosterone increases the ability to build lean muscle mass and burn fat for fuel, as well as contributing to bone health. This means that the more often you ejaculate, the more testosterone is needed to produce sperm. When you start ejaculating less (and learn how to have orgasms without ejaculating), it makes your body and your behavior more masculine (and women love masculine men).
5. Inability to handle intensity
Some men ejaculate too fast because they do not know how to handle the intensity of their sexual energy, but this is something you can learn and train yourself to do. However, not being able to manage your sexual energy also means that you cannot handle other kinds of intensity, such as: love and deep intimacy, abundance, money, a better career, a management position, or a leadership role in society.
Now, the question is: How do you really want to live and what do you want to achieve?
For this article, I talked to a man and a woman, and this is what they shared with me (their names have been changed for confidentiality purposes, and they consented to me sharing this):
Andrew, 35, male, ‘I am so angry when I cum too fast… it annoys me that I can’t control my body, it’s as if my cock had a will of its own, and it doesn’t listen to me. And when I look at my partner and I see the disappointment on her face, it’s even worse…’
Carla, 33, female, ‘I feel frustrated when this happens. I mean, I am just warming up and then it suddenly stops. I love my partner, but I often think about breaking up with him or cheating on him because of this issue… I really like having sex and I want us to have better sex.’
Have you noticed the common feeling they both had? Anger and frustration.
Are you wondering what your partner feels and thinks when you cum too fast?
1. She feels used
What is the difference between using your hand and penetrating a vagina? In some cases, none. When you are too focused on ejaculation and the short pleasure that comes with it, you stop paying attention to your partner’s needs. And she feels this. Do not use your partner to masturbate, sex should be a pleasant experience for both partners. Now, this is not something that only men do, some women can also do this. I know I have done it. I was so focused on my own pleasure, that I was not paying attention to what my partner was feeling. The important thing is to become aware of your behavior, and to be willing to do better.
2. She feels alone and sad
How would you feel if your partner got on top of you, rode you, had an orgasm and then went to the kitchen to eat something?
3. She feels unseen
When you are fixated on your own needs and pleasure, this means your partner’s needs and pleasure will not be satisfied, it is as if she weren’t even there. How do you really want to treat your partner and be seen in your relationship?
4. She feels disconnected
Lovemaking is one of the most intimate and beautiful experiences two people can share. Why? Because it is not only a physical act, but also an act of the soul. When you see sex as nothing more than a physical performance, there is no room left for emotional and soul connection.
5. She thinks you are selfish, and you do not love her
Physical touch and sex are one of the 5 love languages. Some men and women feel loved when they are touched and when they have sex. Firstly, ask yourself how making love and having orgasms make you feel? Now, do you think it is possible for your partner to feel the same way when it comes to making love? We all have needs, and if you only satisfy your needs, while your partner’s needs remain unattended, why would anyone in their right mind stay in this kind of relationship? So, do not blame your partner if she just leaves one day; act today and ask her what she needs and what she likes.
I wrote this article to raise awareness and shed new light on this topic, as most men do not know how much ecstasy they can really experience, and they think that the short pleasure that comes with ejaculation is what an orgasm is. It is not. My mission is to guide both men and women to enjoy amazing sex and mind-blowing orgasms.
To find out how you can last longer, enjoy more pleasure and become a better lover, please subscribe to my newsletter to get notified when I post new articles. If you are ready to become the lover she craves for, please apply to my Pleasure Warrior Coaching Program.